10 things that you should never tell to your children

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There are several wrong, harmful and regrettable things that parents might tell their children. “I wish you had not” or “You are the reason we divorced” are among them.

You may find that some seemingly harmless phrases can trigger resentment among children and affects their self-esteem. Even if parents have often the best intentions, they say things in the presence of children without thinking how they will be charged. Here are some phrases at which you should think twice before repeating them to your children.


1. Overview
2. “I know you can do more!”
3. “Are you sure you need more cookies?”
4. “Always …” and “Never …”
5. “Why can’t you be like your sister / brother?”
6. “I’ve told you that is a mistake to leave everything on the last minute!”
7. “You’re the best in football”
8. “Do not worry, it will be fine on the first day of school”
9. “I do not want you seeing your friend, I do not like him / her”
10. “It isn’t good this way, let me do it”

“I know you can do more!”

Is frustrating for you to know that your child has much more potential in school, sports or music? Any comments such as “I thought you were so lazy,” even if you want to be a motivating, this will not encourage your child to try to do more.

Rather than proceed in this manner when children participate in the home affairs or finishing tasks, you can show your appreciation in various ways. If expectations are related to academic parent, the child may be stimulated by a parent using a remark like “Great! Here the work and extra time allocated for learning paid off!”

“Are you sure you need more cookies?”

Have positive intentions on keeping your child’s health but when you are worry that your kid eats too much cake, you should take practical measures.

You should cook healthy at home and go out walking or other exercise together after dinner, in the family. Thus, when your child will eat more cookies than necessary a party, he will know that after eating too much he must do more exercise.

It isn’t good to praise that your son is a gross feeder, because you do not want to emphasize that it often can’t help to eat certain foods. The best thing would be to emphasize specific and positive comments about this “Wonderful! Even if you eat all vegetable soup, it is important that you tried to finish!”

“Always …” and “Never …”

No doubt that it’s hard to take hold not to start sentences with “Always” or “Never”: “Always look to put socks in the laundry basket!” or “I never call when late home,” but should be aware that these two words positions you on a minefield and could become labels that can influence long-term child.

Basically they are what they say they are. Appropriate would be to replace admonitions with remarks like “It seems that you hardly remember that you must bring your books home from school. What do you think I could make you recall that?”

“Why can’t you be like your sister / brother?”

When a parent gives one of his brother’s children as successful example, can give rise to sibling rivalry. If for example, parents said, “Your brother plays great piano, why can’t you do that?” basically he is sent to the child is unable to play the piano.

Comparisons between siblings can deter their quest to become good in different areas. It would be advisable to encourage each individual child, regardless of his hobbies and interests, not to make any parallel or comparison between the brothers.

“I’ve told you that is a mistake to leave everything on the last minute!”

When children spend too much time playing video games and do not have time to study for tests in mathematics, he won’t get the best results. Every time you repeat “I told you ….” Your child will associate that you are right, with his failure.

When it comes from school with poor results, try to abstain admonish him in this way, and next time you find smarter ways to study together. Score the positive things that your child can do could make things better.

For example, when it makes the room clean, you can ask: “It is easier to find things when your room is clean?”. In this way, give them the feeling that he is in control and you can empower.

“You’re the best in football”

Superlative statements, like “You’re the best in football”, can be discouraging many times for your child when he will discover the limits. When you always tell how smart he is, it may be scared to try something new or difficult due to that fact that he will be scarred that he will not always be as intelligent and will not meet expectations.

Such praise can backfire, especially when your child is trying to complete a task and the father says: “You will succeed, because you’re very smart.” The child may feel uncomfortable with how the parent will continue to label in a way that he deemed not worth it.

Attention must be oriented on the child’s effort that he will make, and it must be encouraged: “It was obvious that you did as you know better” or “How great was the science project you attended.”

“Do not worry, it will be fine on the first day of school”

What’s wrong with trying to calm an anxious child who worries? If you tell your child not to worry, you simply prevented him to express his feelings. In addition, the child may be worry that you are upset because of his concerns about the subject.

Same goes for “Do not cry” and “Do not be angry”. Your attitude will be more supportive if you can say “I notice that you are concerned. Can you tell me you’re taunting the most, to talk about that?”.

“I do not want you seeing your friend, I do not like him / her”

Many of the parents do not like their child friend for various reasons, but when the baby will find this, that people’s company will become more interesting.

It is important to have good communication with your child and find out what he likes and appreciates at that friend. In this way you will be able to inspire your child moral values, and you can highlight what is good and bad.

“It isn’t good this way, let me do it”

Ask your child to chew the soup, to fold towels or wash the car. Of course, you want help, but the child is probably not very good at these things. If you are a perfectionist person it will be hard to abstain and not do things prefect by yourself.

By doing so, you make a mistake, because the child will not learn and will not be willing to try a second time. Even if the results are not expected, do not interfere. Than to draw attention not done properly, better collaborate with the child saying, “Here, let me show you an elegant way to arrange towels.”



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